Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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