I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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