I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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