these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
