he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
