if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
