sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
