So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
