I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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