VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
