Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
