He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
