This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she told me i tasted like america
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
