I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize