There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
