Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
why is half of my head shaved?
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