I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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