Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do vagina's smell?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
