Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
