Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
God I need to hump something, right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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