That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
