I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
