we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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