Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
