On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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