when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
