Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
