Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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