I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
