grandma shit on top of the toilet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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