I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
