i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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