I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize