Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
