Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize