For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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