ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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