tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize