this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
