A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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