What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
