Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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