Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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