theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize