shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
