The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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