May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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