i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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