Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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