Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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