And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
