Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
