Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
