Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
