I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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