i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize