she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
