dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
