All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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