my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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