clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
