thus making me awesome and them whores
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
