My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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