sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
