I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
