In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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