Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize