a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize