I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
