So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize