Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
